Russia is the world’s leader in the number of orphan children. Only 5-8 percent of them are true orphans with no alive parents. All the rest are so called social orphans, whose parents abandoned them or have been denied their parental rights because of alcoholism, neglect, child abuse etc. Mothers rejecting their unwanted child often leave their infant in hospitals where there is nobody to care about them.

Dear mother, why do you make me cry?

What’s the reason you left me alone?

You escape from me and don’t justify

Why you can’t come back to take me home?

From the cradle I’ve had to take my doom

To survive in world that is violent

Hear that I cry lying in the gloom

Why are you, my mommy, keeping silent?

This ward’s cold and dark. All I feel is fear

Nurses passing by. Hardly they may care

Infant’s sheet is wet and no one is near

Either nappy is so tight or baby’s bare

Hunger and infections are in store for me

I may perish, but no one is worrying

Nourishment and treatment from your breast I need

Why do you, my mommy, keep ignoring?

Please, my mom, come back, rock me in your arms

Lullaby is what I just need to hear

This aggressive life frightens me and harms

Why did you, my mommy, disappear?

Mommy, ask you why did you give me birth?

Misery is my nursery and home

I am not beloved by someone on this earth

I’m unwanted child living all alone

September 2008

My life is not reality
That is just stiff and stark
I don’t expect fatality
When days are cold and dark

I don’t want that my ill fate
Would stand at close range
I fear it to be late
To sense a blow of change

My home is not museum
Of relics and antique
It’s not a coliseum
If so, it’s threat fatigue

I don’t want that old-fashioned
Thoughts made me odd and strange
I fear to be ancient
And miss a blow of change

My love is not stupidity
That is afraid to tread
It flies with mad rapidity
And spins a wavy thread

I don’t like a smooth road,
Withdraw and estrange
From share of the load,
And stop a blow of change

August 2008
 

Пыльная дорога. Свод неба голубой
Идет куда-то странник со спутницей-тоской
В глазах его усталых глубокая печаль
Он устремляет взгляд тяжелый вдаль

Не к горизонтам синим направлен его взор
Не в сторону величественных гор
Листает дни былые он в памяти своей
И непрестанно думает о ней

Она была прекрасна. Ее был нежен взгляд
Он в душу проникал и отравлял как яд
От рук ее воздушных все таяло внутри
И отрывалось тело от земли

И с нею рядом сладким был каждый день и час
Краса ее пленяла и радовала глаз
Когда она входила, все озарялось вдруг
И как весною все цвело вокруг

Но он был юн и робок. Любви не ведал чар
Подарок, судьбой данный, принять не смел он в дар
Тоски ее венчаньем стал сердца ровный стук
И фотография его слетела с ее рук

Не предан был забвенью кумир девичьих грез
Но вечно быть не мог он причиной ее слез
Собрав осколки сердца дрожащею рукой
Их склеила. И с ней теперь другой

А странник вдаль пустился, он смог потом понять -
Любовь прошла и скрылась, и боль ту не унять
Ему лишь остается жизнь проводить в пути
Но не к кому теперь ему идти

Август 2008
 

Love is a comet, which flies impetuously, but has a long tail, and leaves behind a trail for a long time.

Любовь – это комета, которая стремительно летит, но имеет длинный хвост, и оставляет надолго свой след.

Romance, amour, love

What is all this stuff?

It makes me cry and laugh

And lets me fly above

Amour, love, romance

It’s like a given chance

It makes me sing and dance

It gives a sense of trance

Love, romance, amour

It may be vague or pure

It may infect and cure,

And makes me strong and sure

Love is a sudden lift

Romance is a life shift

Amour is a drift

Don’t miss this sweetest gift

April 1996

Слова любви так неуклюжи.

Как чувства описать свои

Когда волненье разум вскружит

И все пылает от любви

Семантика не совершенна

Не выразить чредою слов

Всех чувств своих, всех откровений

И всю тем более любовь

Семантика есть у случайной,

В словах возникшей, тишины

Вся преисполненная тайной

В ней чувства торжеством полны

Безмолвием объята встреча

Пьянит немая благодать

И даже самой пылкой речью

Любовь свою не передать

Август 2008

Never seen as dazzling beauty as you are

Never met a girl I’d love that much so far

All the gems just fade and pail beside you

I would give all what I have for rendezvous

With the girl that is so gorgeous, but I fail

‘cause your love and dazzling beauty are for sale

And your price is so exorbitant and high

Love is something that I never want to buy

But your bed is made of roses and thorns.

Like a jewelry that flashes and adorns

Roll in luxury but your back feels a pain

You are beautiful, but, once, you’ll start to drain

My heart cracks. It starts to bleed and hesitate

Love may turn into a close friend of hate

It is not a thing that you can sell and buy

Money talks, but then the love begins to die

I can find a remedy for broken heart

And my love can disappear and depart

It may quickly come and it may quickly go

All is not gold that is glittering, I know

But your bed is made of roses and thorns.

Like a jewelry that flashes and adorns

Roll in luxury but your back feels a pain

You are beautiful, but, once, you’ll start to drain

December 1996

These lyrics are my first metal ballad. I played guitar in my first rock group. It was 10 years since I had been a fan of Metallica. This group influenced my life tremendously. I had two burning desires in my life. I was longing for learning English to understand what my idols sang about. I was dying for learning to play guitar to imitate them. When I got some English language and guitar playing skills, I founded my own trash-metal band Metallmorphos. A short history of this group I will wrote in my previews to lyrics I’m going to publish in my Live Journal.

Come back to me, my Angel

I beg for your charity.

In sympathy with me,

Give my mind the clarity,

Ability to see.

Can you be absolvent and

Pardon for offence.

Can you give your saving hand

And another chance.

I pray for your indulgence. Come back to me, my angel.

Let me know you can now forgive my mortal sins.

Give me your clear guidance. Don’t be a silent stranger.

Heal your wounds. Rise again. Stretch your broken wings.

Sorry for my blasphemy,

Ignorance display.

Be so merciful to me.

Kneeling down, I pray.

Come from the obscurity.

I was deaf and blind.

Now I need security,

Restful peace of mind.

I pray for your indulgence. Come back to me, my angel.

Let me know you can now forgive my mortal sins.

Give me your clear guidance. Don’t be a silent stranger.

Heal your wounds. Rise again. Stretch your broken wings.

June 1993

Еще одна песенка для мальчиков и девочек. Была написана 10 лет назад. Но уже тогда она не вызывала особого интереса у моей аудитории, так как подобные темы окончательно стали архаизмом. Любовь на расстоянии на протяжении долгих томительных лет ожидания – это в наше время огромный подвиг. Не знаю, кто сейчас на такое способен.

Hi, I am tremendously suffering from present Caucasian tragedy as I am Russian. These lyrics, which I wrote in thrash-metal style, are a cry from my bleeding heart. I hate wars and authorities that initiate them. I don’t want people to be killed being under attack. And I curse everyone who is in charge of this fratricidal war. I curse Georgians killing Ossetian civilians. I curse Russians, if they kill Georgian civilians. Moreover, I blame American authorities that are definitely involved in this bloody conflict. Georgians, Ossetians, and Russians are orthodox brothers and none can split our nations. Stop your authorities from bombing civilians or from urging other nations to bombing.
About what town and about what civilians are these lyrics? Well, it’s up to you. Let your conscience tell you what these lyrics are about

August night. No sign of fight
Little town put out the light
Children sleep. A woman prays
A candle sheds its dimmest rays

The signal to attack is set
Skyline's turning into red
Missiles launched into the skies
Shelled and ruined town dies

Mortal hail violates
Precipitation penetrates
Into buildings. Walls collapse
Hostile army comes and laps

Attack jets are launching bombs
A death brigade invades and storms
People hide in catacombs
Shelters transform into tombs

August night. And mortal hail
Forces of peacemaking fail
Breaking news. Newsmakers lie
While orphan children cry

Tyranny rules human minds
Mass deception spreads and blinds
Politicians act like whores
Urging nations to new wars

People, all authorities
Set grasping priorities
Don't be lied for their tale
May become a mortal hail

August 2008

These lyrics were writen in 1994 when I played guitar in my hometown death-metal group known as Aquosa Raptos

Domination of Death

This mortuary and others full of dead

Smell of putrefaction’s driving us to madness

The ground is shuddering and turning into red

Blood is everywhere; skies immerse in Blackness

Flash. Fireball. Everything’s in the depth

Of chaos descending on Earth

Fierce furious Domination of Death

Giving no chance for rebirth

Crash. Emptiness. No response. No remorse

Silence is breaking all noise

Dust. Ashes. Vacuum starts to engross

Everything leaving no choice

Long obituary. Ironic Hall of Fame

Kingdom come. Ferocious revenge and Damnation

Sacred relics trampled underfoot. And flame

Of absolute inferno. Mankind's termination

Blast. Fires play. Lifelessness and no breath

Nowhere in universe

Fierce furious Domination of Death

Giving no chance for rebirth

September 1994

People try to find love. Often all attempts are undertaken in vain. Often it happens that it’s not you that find love. Love finds you. It knocks your door. A real true love. Being half-asleep, you open your door and can’t believe your eyes. It seems to you that you are still asleep and see a miraculous and fabulous dream. Or it seems that love probably knocks the wrong door. So you close your door and continue to sleep…

From early age till I get old
I know the reason of my birth
Love brought me, once, into this world
Love is the aim I’m on the Earth
Neither my schooling, nor career
Neither my friends, nor business strife
Can stand between and interfere
In my priority of life
It’s only love that really matters
And all the rest is just background
L-O-V-E are major letters
When alphabet comes all around
Love is the only thing I bring
In all my mind, and all my heart
About love I write and sing
It’s what will never be apart

08-08-08

Love is an unexpected guest

It knocks the door, but you cant’ hear

It wants to enter your love nest

It doesn’t seem to disappear

But you have fun with cheerful friends

You have some passions to engross

Love gave you chance. Its patience ends

After dismissal it withdraws

You waste your time among you flames

Your girlfriends always come and go

You don’t remember their names

You like to have them in a row

And now that you are getting old

You want to open your door

Your love nest is becoming cold,

But love is not yours any more

August 2008

Из милости ко мне и к остальным твореньям
Создателя всего, что можно только счесть,
Яви свой лик и одухотворенье,
И добродетели олицетворенье,
И окажи нам воскресеньем честь.

И грех мой род несет до моего колена.
И всех грехов моих и их уже не счесть.
Но сколько б не минуло поколений,
Тебя не зрея, стоя на коленях,
Мольбу одну за всех хочу прочесть.

Молю тебя, скорее вернись назад, мой Ангел
И расправь над землею два своих крыла.
Залечи свои и наши кровоточащие раны.
Пусть под тобой не стонет грешная земля.

В среде сует, среди сего столпотворенья
Нет места правде в том, что ты на свете есть.
И нет уже того… умиротворенья.
Нет мира со времен его творенья.
И нам теперь за все должны зачесть.

Из милости, прости за это откровенье -
Неведома тебе земная наша месть.
Прости за то, что предан был забвенью;
За то, что солнцу предпочли затменье.
Дай знать о том, что ты здесь где-то есть

Молю тебя, скорее вернись назад, мой Ангел
И расправь над землею два своих крыла
Залечи свои и наши кровоточащие раны.
Пусть под тобой не стонет грешная земля.

Март 1992